4 With A Side Of 5

Alright,I'm gonna let you all in...just a bit.Have you ever heard of the Enneagram Personality Test?Well,it's based off of 9 different personality types.And just by looking at the list of personalities I knew EXACTLY which one I was.Without a doubt!Number 4 with a 5 wing.Then I took the test and it was confirmed.Yeah.You are probably thinking,"That means nothing to me." Well here's what a number 4 looks like at a glance...

4 THE INDIVIDUALIST

The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Looks way worse when it's written down,lol! And then the 5 wing means that the 5 personality is the second strongest type in my personality.I guess you could say it's my complimentary personality.Here's what a 5 looks like...

5 THE INVESTIGATOR

The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated

• Enneagram Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian"

The enneagram goes into much depth over the personalities like when they are healthy and when they are at their worst.Which is a great way (for me) to gauge whether my focus is on me or God.

And let me just say it IS right on!I've never taken a personality test that was so right on that I actually made sense to myself,ha!

At their healthiest a four looks like this...

Level 1 (At Their Best): Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.

And at their worst...

Level 9: Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.

In all honesty I probably hang out around a level three and five on average.

Level 3: Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.

Level 4: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination.

Level 5: To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to 
sort out feelings.

It's not like once you are at your best you stay there on the scale..you can move up or down depending on life and how you handle situations and so on.

The reason I am sharing this is because it will make sense when I talk about when I am lonely,emotional,feeling misunderstood,why colors effect me so dad-gum much,why I just HAVE to make everything lovely, and so on.It's taken me this long to figure out how I function and how things affect me.And also,like I have mentioned in previous posts,to love myself for how I was made.And coincidentally enough,fours have a need to feel understood...even though we are the most complicated personality type(yep my heart sank when I heard this because I know the truth in it!).Mom,Dad...I'm sure you already know this and are shaking your heads.Or laughing...eh,probably not.

It really hit me the other night,when talking to a friend's daughter,who happens to be a four, that not many people (unless they're a four) understand how or why someone can feel lonely so often especially when they are surrounded by people.Or why when the smallest change in a social atmosphere our moods change as well. 


But it's not all melancholy,downhill,poor me.A lot of it is seeing beauty where others miss it.It's to enjoy something so much more (or less) that makes it stand out,which is what makes it uniqe (whatever IT may be).To feel so deeply that there's nothing else.It's different if you don't understand but if you do it's good and bad,but always beautiful.Though it's hard to carry these emotions it's also what carries me to God.But,sometimes,not before I get carried in the other direction of analytical thinking.

-Unknown

I JUST got done listening to this podcast (click podcast and it will take you to the site) about fours.Oh my!I think I have made some new friends and they don't even know it yet!

I encourage you to take the test,find your number,read everything on it,listen to the podcasts on your number,and pray how God can make you the best possible (insert your number here).Also I know that you are MORE than a number,or letters,or character of some sort BUT you do have to know you before you can be the best you!I use to think I could change the fact that I am more melancholy,emotional,intense, or whatever.But I can't change it...I can however approach the throne and ask God what He has for me and to equip me according to His good purpose.

BTW I just want ya'll to know hitting the publish button isn't going to be easy on this post!!!



Take the enneagram test HERE!



              What number are you?I would love to know!